Separation anxiety in dogs: signs and what helps

Few dog problems are as stressful for owners as separation anxiety. Neighbors complain about howling, doors get scratched, and you feel guilty every time you pick up your keys. It helps to remember what is actually happening: your dog is not angry with you. They are anxious, and anxiety responds to gradual, kind training, not punishment.

Signs of separation anxiety

The ASPCA lists signs that typically happen only when a dog is left alone or separated from the person they are attached to:

• Urinating or defecating indoors, even in a house-trained dog
• Barking, whining or howling
• Chewing, digging or destruction, often focused on doors and windows
• Escape attempts
• Pacing in a fixed pattern
• In some cases, eating their own feces

Many dogs with separation anxiety also show anxiety as you prepare to leave, such as following you, panting, trembling or trying to block the door.

Is it anxiety or something else?

Several problems look similar, and the fix depends on the cause:

• Boredom. A young, under-exercised dog may chew and bark when alone because they have nothing better to do, but they are relaxed rather than panicked.
• Incomplete house training. Accidents happen whether or not you are home.
• Medical issues. Incontinence, urinary infections and some medications can cause house soiling. Older dogs with cognitive changes may become restless or vocal.
• Noise fears. Some dogs panic at thunder or fireworks when they happen to be alone.

A pet camera is one of the most useful tools here. Watching what your dog actually does in the first 30 minutes after you leave tells you a lot.

Common triggers

According to the ASPCA, separation anxiety can be triggered by changes such as:

• A new guardian or family, including adoption from a shelter
• A change in schedule, such as going from working at home to leaving for long days
• A move to a new home
• The loss of a family member, human or animal

The core of treatment: gradual alone time

The goal is to teach your dog, in very small steps, that being alone is safe. This is called desensitization: exposure that is always short enough that your dog stays relaxed.

1. Find the starting point. With a camera, find out how long your dog can be alone before showing stress. For some dogs it is 10 minutes; for others, it is the sound of you touching the door handle.
2. Practice absences shorter than that. If your dog is fine for 30 seconds, practice 15 to 20 second absences, many times, until they are boring.
3. Increase slowly. Add time in small increments. The ASPCA describes building from very short absences in small steps, then larger chunks once your dog is coping well.
4. Mix it up. Vary the length of practice absences, including some very short ones, so leaving is not a steady march to the hardest step.
5. Go back a step when needed. Signs of stress mean you moved too fast. Return to a length your dog handled easily.

Work on departure cues

Picking up keys, putting on shoes or grabbing a bag can start the anxiety before you leave. Practice these cues without leaving: put on your coat and sit down, pick up your keys and make tea. Over time they stop predicting your departure.

Keep arrivals and departures calm

Long, emotional goodbyes and excited reunions can make your absence feel like a big deal. Keep both low-key. A calm "see you later" and a quiet greeting when you return, followed by attention once your dog has settled, is enough.

Avoid "real" absences that are too long

This is the hard part. While you are training, your dog should not be left for longer than they can cope with, because each panic episode can undo progress. Options include:

• A dog sitter, friend or family member
• Doggy daycare, if your dog enjoys it
• Taking your dog to work, if possible
• Working from home on key training days

Help that supports training

• Exercise. A tired dog settles more easily. A brisk walk or play session before you leave helps many dogs.
• Brain games. Mental work is tiring and builds confidence. See our mental stimulation games.
• A food puzzle when you leave. For mild cases, a long-lasting food toy can help your dog associate departures with something good. Dogs with severe anxiety often will not eat when alone, which is itself a useful sign of how stressed they are.
• A safe space. Some dogs feel more secure in a crate; others panic in one. If your dog is distressed in a crate, use a gated room instead. Our crate training guide explains the warning signs.
• Independence at home. The AKC suggests teaching a solid "stay" and practicing short periods in another room while you are home, so your dog is comfortable not being glued to you.

What not to do

• Never punish accidents or destruction that happened while you were out. Your dog cannot connect the punishment to something they did earlier, and fear will make anxiety worse.
• Do not rely on a second dog as a cure. Some anxious dogs feel better with company, but many are attached to their person specifically.
• Do not rush. Progress is often slow at first and speeds up later.

When to get professional help

See your veterinarian first to rule out medical causes, especially for house soiling or sudden changes in an older dog. For moderate to severe separation anxiety, a veterinary behaviorist or a qualified force-free trainer who specializes in separation problems can design a plan and monitor progress.

Questions